Relationships: Revealing Your Past

Number of Sexual Partners


It’s true that there isn’t a good answer to this question but for different reasons when it comes to women. Ideally the only number that men want to hear is ‘one’, i.e. them… As unrealistic as this is in this day and age, many guys don’t like to feel like they are one in a long line. If they had their way, you’d be an experienced virgin… what a contradiction. If you slept with only a few men, they either pat themselves on the back for getting a fairly innocent woman (although some will still think the number is too high) or they think you’re lying… If the number is too high, they think you’re a slut…even if it’s less than their number…
I recommend that couples don’t discuss numbers of sexual partners. Nothing good will come of it and it’s a stupid conversation. The type of information that is important is whether you have been tested and are sexually healthy.


Past Relationships


Ex talk should not enter the conversation on the first few dates as you should have more interesting things to talk about. People make inaccurate judgments and draw their own conclusions, rightly and wrongly. Spill too much about your ex in the early stages and the guy won’t be able to help but adjust his behaviour so as not to appear to be anything like him. When you do get to talking about your past, it’s about striking a balance. The key is that you shouldn’t be emotionally invested, whether that means you come across cold in an effort to look detached, or if you can’t speak about him without bitching and seething.


Unsavoury History & Hidden Past


Telling stories about your past antics when you mooned at a bunch of people or had a wild, crazy, week away with your friends is harmless. Your relationship, if it has good foundations…and a sense of humour, should be able to cope. But there are big things that do deal fatal blows to relationships such as hidden addictions or the fact that you’re a wanted serial killer…Or maybe you’re known all over the internet as an amateur pornstar. Probably best not to keep this type of stuff a secret!.


Wild Sexual Experiences


Unless you’re that kind of freaky couple that gets off on story time with your sexual past…don’t go down this route. It’s not funny and it sure isn’t clever. Much like your magic number of sexual partners, your exploits are open to interpretation and judgment. It’s better to create your wild sexual experiences with your current partner and leave the past sex…in the past. If you need to talk about it so much, I have to wonder how much interest you have in your current partner.