More often than not, the primary issue that women focus on is the emotional unavailability, but there are always physical and spiritual issues to prop it up. Mr Unavailable isn’t a Bad Boy per se and has nice qualities, which is what keeps the millions of women lingering around.
He is the ambiguous, hard to read, very attractive anomaly that sits between a Bad Boy and Mr Nice Guy.
Mr Unavailable (or as some refer to him EUM – emotionally unavailable man) is one of the most dangerous men that you could meet and every day his inability to tap into his emotions and into himself has millions of women investing their time and energy into fruitless liaisons with him.
His characteristics, personality and behaviour give the women he engages with, just enough of a hint of what he could be, if only he wasn’t so self-involved and quite messed up.
They have a host of excuses as to why they can’t be as much of a partner as we would like them to be and they blame “timing”, and tell you that “If only things were different, you’d be the perfect girlfriend” but that doesn’t explain why they continue to play havoc with your emotions.
Mr Unavailables are very much about the chase. They pursue hard, shower you with attention and lay it on thick with a trowel in order to reel you in, but from the moment that you are hooked and things get comfortable, he backs off. Then he homes in again. This is the Pushey Pulley Game that he uses to achieve The Status Quo. After a while it seems like they want to avoid doing anything that involves them being close to you despite starting off the “relationship” very eagerly.
Here are just some of the signs that you’re with a Mr Unavailable. If you find one sign, you’ll find many, but often one sign is enough and you should use this to evaluate whether this is the type of relationship that you actually want to be involved in, because each and every one of these signs, especially when more than one of them exists, spell pain and trouble. Here goes…
He has a girlfriend or is married
He’s recently separated
Or he’s divorced but clinging to the fact that he’s been divorced to avoid committing
He’s in a long distance relationship. With someone else. Or you’re in one with him and he has no desire to get closer
He’s very reliant on text messages, instant messaging and email for the majority of his contact
They’re ambiguous about the status of the relationship
You’re not sure when you’ll hear from the next, even though you’ve been dating them for a while.You think you’re in a relationship, but it’s closer to a booty call.
He says stuff like ‘If only the timing was different, you’d be the perfect girlfriend’;'If only things were different I’d definitely marry you’.
When you try to tackle the status of your relationship or any issues, he either tells you what you want to hear and then returns to his normal behaviour or he just skirts the issue. One way or the other, you wind up back at square one.
He lives with his ex.He shares a bed with a woman that he claims is his friend.
He admits that he is dating multiple women continuously.He’s openly not over his ex.
He says he’s over his ex but he’s quietly still trying to cope with the end of the relationship.He mentions his ex or things that happened between the two of them often.
He’s an overt mother lover/mummy’s boy.He’s a mother hater – has an overtly negative relationship with his mother.
He doesn’t call when he’s supposed to. Ever.He’s one big walking excuse.
You feel empty after you sleep with him.He creeps out after sleeping with you even though you’ve been together for a while
He has a stringent routine that he just won’t deviate from – sometimes a sign that he has someone else.He won’t take calls either before or after a certain time – often a sign that he’s cheating.
He doesn’t come around to your place until late.He is resistant to involving himself in your life.
He talks about his problems, his successes, his life – it’s me, me, me all the way.He determines the momentum of the relationship – you meet up when he wants to meet up.
He pushes for an ‘open’ relationship.He never refers to you as a girlfriend, partner or any form of significant other.
He uses sex as his way of demonstrating his so-called ‘emotion’.There are pockets of time when he seems to just disappear, and then he resurfaces with little or no explanation.
It feels like he blows hot and cold.He’s quick out the gate in pursuing you, gets your attention, and then goes into a slow canter.
He tells you that he has a lot of issues that he needs to deal with.
He actually says ‘I’m not ready for a relationship’, but is still with you.
He says he wants to get married, but there is no sign of a ring, no sign of a date and years are going by.
He can’t commit to anything, no matter how miniscule. Everything that he’s asked, such as whether he can do something with you is a big drama to get him to say yay or nay.
Hes got about as much emotion in him as a stone.He may try and sleep with you on the first night.
Make sure you are aware of the implications of red flags in relationships and having little or no boundaries.
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