Love or Lust?

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing  because romantic love is complex and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust?. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many confuse an intense attraction for some sort of divine love. Since feelings of attraction are there and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?.

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper).

1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
4. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
5. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
6. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.
7. Neither you or your partner feel the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
8. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
9. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

If you agreed with at least 7 of the following 9 statements then you are probably in love.

Some ways to let Him know how you feel

Do you know of a good way to let him know how you feel without overwhelming your guy? Would you like to show your man that you care without putting everything on the line? What is the best way to let a guy see that you are into him without being smothering? Here are some of the best ways to let him know how you feel early in the relationship.

First of all, actions speak louder than words. If you come out with the "L" word, you are going to change the dynamic of the relationship and you might scare him off. Just show him that you are into him without jumping the gun. You can smile, look at him, and touch him to show him some affection.

Next, remember that a simple compliment can go a long way toward letting him know how you feel. Try to be specific, and don't make it all about looks. If certain things that he says or does appeal to you, tell him sometimes how those qualities are attractive. Make him feel good, and he will know that he makes you feel good.

Although it might sound contradictory, you can let him know how you feel by taking things slowly. Instead of rushing into a relationship, slow the pace down and enjoy the early stages. If you savor the time that you have together without trying to rush on to the next thing, you will both enjoy each other more. He will appreciate you letting him take things at his own pace, too.

Finally, let him be himself if you really want to make him feel loved. Many women are intent on changing or molding the men that they decide to get involved with. If you can show him that you really do like him for just who he is, he will feel secure and stimulated at the same time. Accept and love the whole guy, and be honest that you like him even for qualities that you don't share.

You might have some very strong feelings and wishes at the beginning of a relationship. But if you really want to let him know how you feel without adding pressure, let things come out slowly and naturally.

Sexy Smokey Dolly Eye Video

Sexy Smokey Eye Video

Jealousy and How to deal with it

Jealousy is one of the most destabilizing of all emotions. It can be defined as a person's fears and anxieties around attention that they think is being given to or received by the one who is dear and important to them.

Most of the people experience the natural feeling of jealousy at some point in their lives when it comes to romance. Some people feel it more strongly than others and some even suffer from the feeling to the extent that jealousy starts consuming them. In some cases the feeling is justified and in others it is not. Frankly speaking, jealousy is a poisonous emotion, both for the person experiencing it and for their partner.

Jealousy is usually considered as a single, independent emotion, but in reality it is a whole bundle of feelings that interconnect with each other such as anger, fear, hurt, betrayal, anxiety, mania, paranoia, sadness, agitation, depression, loneliness, envy, coveting, feeling powerless, feeling excluded and so on.

For the most part, jealousy is a byproduct of one's own problems with self-confidence and self-esteem. It is also about a deep fear of the unknown and of change, fear of being abandoned and of losing power or control in a relationship, and also the fear that the needs will not be met. Jealous people feel often very insecure and anxious about their worthiness, feeling that they might not be good enough for the other partner. They may feel threatened by good looks of other people comparing them to their own selves and worrying that the other part might leave them at any time. Whatever the reason is that caused jealous emotions, whether justified or not, the feeling can become a huge factor in disconnection between couples.

Being in a relationship with someone who is very jealous, is very hard as in many cases it turns out that along with the jealousy suddenly comes control. Jealous partner wants to control everything the other part does, where they go, and who they communicate with. Sometimes extreme jealousy can also lead to sexual or physical violence. Violence will be harder to control as the relationship progresses, so if it started reaching dangerously high levels, it would be the best to break up, or if that is not manageable at that point, then there is a need to seek for help as soon as possible.

Jealousy can also easily become an obsession in both men and women. Someone who is being consumed by paranoid jealousy constantly draws in mind pictures and imagines situations where their partner is betraying them, and cheating on them. As a result, they always manage to convince themselves that the partner has done something not proper and humiliating for them. These endless suspicions are poisonous and can be fatal for any relationship. Very often another part gets sick and tired of constant accusations and suspicions, especially when the jealousy is unjustified, and leave the relationship.

So, how is it possible to prevent these ugly thoughts from appearing and from flooding one's mind at all? The best thing to start with is to start communicating your feelings with your partner. It is important to ask them why they have chosen especially you and also tell them openly that you love them. You may want to explain also that because they are so important to you, you are feeling jealous and insecure about the relationship. There is a great chance that your partner will reassure you of the fact that he/she is in a relationship with you because of feelings for you only and not someone better to come along.

Never feel in a negative way about yourself and certainly do not talk negatively about yourself. Self confidence is always respected by others and if you constantly keep thinking about positive things when negative feelings start invading you, a habit of doing so will be eventually developed in you.

It is a very bad thing when one of the partners tries to control the relationship. One person cannot control the other person as everyone has a mind and understanding of their own. If there is a feeling that the person cannot be trusted until you know everything they do, who they meet with, who they talk to, where they are, all the time, then either they are not worth trusting and will betray in any case, or your jealousy and paranoia will break the relationship. If your partner does things that you do not accept, it is always better to talk to them and let them know about your concerns, suspicions and pain, rather than spy and demand anything through fights and hysteria.

In addition to being a partner to the person you love, try to be their trustworthy friend as well. If the other part realizes and understands that they can trust you completely in any aspect, then the relationship is more likely to be much healthier and stronger and reasons for feeling jealous will subside, and eventually even disappear.

Heartbreak

Heartbreak is a very strange distress. It is exquisitely painful, and yet we cannot find an injury on our body. It is like one big emotional pain but it also seems to spark off hundreds of other emotions. We hate the feeling of heartbreak, and yet we find ourselves compelled to go over and over memories, ideas or fantasies which make the feeling worse. What is going on?.

When an important love relationship ends, a range of different responses is triggered. We feel loss and pain. Our normal ways of thinking about the world are disrupted. Our balance is upset, and our feelings change from one minute to the next. We pine for our ex-lover, then we are overwhelmed with anger at them. One minute we are desperate to see them, the next we can't bear to have anyone mention their name. This volatility and confusion add to the misery.

Heartbreak is caused by the end of a relationship. It can also be caused when we fail to get a relationship we fervently desire. It can even happen slowly when we realize that we are in a relationship from which all the love has gone. However it happens, after the shock, it takes some time for reality to sink in. Then we experience a welter of feelings. We can be angry, sad, devastated, despairing, distraught, desperate, remorseful, regretful, ashamed, embarrassed. The emotional bombardment is overwhelming.

In the long term, we have a natural way of dealing with these feelings. We have an emotional mechanism that allows us to recover from losses and from pain. If we didn't have it, the whole world would be in mourning forever! Bereavement, parting and suffering are unavoidable parts of our life experience. The natural way we recover is by grieving.

Men... and Withdrawal

When a man becomes distant, sometimes the way a woman communicates her feelings to him makes him want to withdraw even more.  But if you know these three steps, you can turn this into an opportunity to connect with him and make him want to come even closer to you.
It's finally happening: you met a man you're compatible with, you really like him, and the feeling is mutual.  He's showering you with attention, making plans to see you, making time to call you, and generally letting you know that he's so happy to have found you.

Then something happens.  Out of the blue, he pulls back from you.  Maybe he doesn't mention seeing you this weekend, or he gets off the phone a little earlier than usual.  Or maybe he's not being as affectionate. You sense a shift in the way he is with you, and it doesn't feel good.  In fact, it's downright scary.

As a woman, our first instinct is to try to fix the situation by getting closer to him.  We'll ask him what's wrong, call him, and start worrying.  But this can actually push a man further away because he'll feel coerced. 

The real secret to making sure his distance is only temporary is to let go of your efforts to bring him close.  This seems counter-intuitive and frightening, since it feels like you might lose him.  But that's entirely not the case. 

Here's how to give him the space he needs while handling your own vulnerable feelings so that he'll naturally want to come close all by himself.

STEP 1: STAY CENTERED BY REALIZING IT'S NATURAL FOR A MAN TO PULL BACK

Drifting away is completely natural for a man, even if he's in love with you.  Falling in love can make him feel vulnerable, so he'll try to pull back in order to not lose himself.  He'll come in and go out - like a rubber band - while he works out his feelings and digs deeper to find his ability to go the distance in a real relationship.  Meanwhile, he's also making sure he "holds on" to his sense of self, his life, and his independence. 

So, the first thing to do when this happens with the man you're with is to remind yourself that it's completely normal.  If he's the right man for you, these periods will significantly shorten over time, even though he'll still need his "space" every once in a while. 

 STEP 2: CREATE TENSION SO HE SNAPS BACK

Whenever the man we're with pulls back from us, our first instinct is usually to lean in and close the space.  This requires effort.   And it also usually causes the man to resist our attempts to get closer.  Why?  Because by stepping in we're removing the incentive for a man to get close.  He no longer feels it's his choice - he feels forced.

If he starts pulling away, and you move toward him, then you're just letting the rubber band go slack.  You're making it impossible for him to bounce back to you. You're eliminating the tension he needs in order to come back.

The answer is to drop any effort on your part to close that space. Resist the temptation to ask him what's wrong or to step up your efforts in order to get a response from him.  Don't call him or email him or drop by his place.  Let him make the choice to come to you.  When he does, it also makes you feel better.  It makes you feel desired by him.

STEP 3: CONNECT WITH HIS HEART USING FEELING MESSAGES

When a man does withdraw, it creates all sorts of feelings inside us.  We feel neglected, uncertain, and angry.  And when he comes back, it's easy to feel resentful.  We want him to know that we felt hurt.  We don't want him to think it's just okay for him to pull away.

But there is power in your words, and the words you choose can deepen the connection you share so that he is more mindful of your feelings when he does need his space.  The trick is to talk to him in a way that expresses your feelings without blaming him.

So, instead of saying, "Why haven't you called?!" try, "I feel so happy to hear from you!"  Show him that being with you is a fun, positive experience.  When he sees that you didn't let your emotions overrun you and senses that you didn't place such a high importance on his actions, he'll be motivated to stay close and connected with you.  He'll recognize that he's with a woman who respects his needs while taking care of her own feelings.  And he'll appreciate that you didn't blame or criticize him.

When you create a positive experience with him, he'll also gradually realize that being close and connected with you is a valuable part of his life he won't want to live without.  He'll see that being with you does not mean he needs to give up his sense of self or his independence, and the bond you two share will become even stronger. 

Men Do Show Love

It's a cliche for a reason…men aren't always best at showing how they feel, even when they're head over heels. Here are a few ways that men show you their love... pay close attention.

1. He Opens Up
Emotional intimacy isn't easy for anyone, so if he's baring his soul to you, it's not because he likes hearing himself talk…alright, not just because he likes hearing himself talk.

2. He Does the Dirty Work
Taking out the garbage and scrubbing the bathroom floor may not seem romantic, but it can be his way of showing you he cares: by helping you out and trying to make your life easier. He's not ironing your work pants because he likes to; he's doing it because he wants to make you happy.

3. He Asks for Your Help
Whether he wants your input on a blowout with his boss, or asks you to tag along and help him pick out a birthday present for his mom, he's asking for your opinion because he respects you and cares what you think, a sure sign he's smitten.
(Smitten: affected by something overwhelming)

4. He Loves PDA
Alright, sometimes you can do without his groping in the cereal aisle at the supermarket, but take it as a compliment that he can't keep his hands off you. He's proud to call you his and to show you off, and sometimes there's no better way to show his appreciation than to give you a little squeeze!

5. He Chooses the Perfect Gift
Don't worry if his gifts are duds, but if he consistently hits it out of the park with his present shopping skills, take it as a compliment: he's not only a good listener, he's also thoughtful…and willing to spend hours searching for exactly the right thing.

6. He Introduces You to His Family
You can bet that as soon as he introduces a girlfriend to his mother, she'll be on his case about grandchildren. So if he's getting the two of you together, he knows what he's getting himself into and that there might be a future with you.

7. He Makes You Part of His Inner Circle
Folding you into his circle is more than just introducing you to his friends. A man who's gaga over you and can see a future will make an effort to make you part of his life. If he's scheduling standing double dates with his coupled friends and inviting you to his weekly drinking night with his friends, he wants you to stick around for a while.

8. He Makes Himself a Part of Your Life
If he's joining you for your boring Sunday morning errands and cuddling up on the couch with you  for Gossip Girl every week, he's in it for the long haul.

9. He Compromises
It's simple: when he loves you, he wants to keep you happy. This doesn't mean always letting you get your way, but it does mean he'll be eager to reach a middle ground with you where you're both happy. Whether it's where you spend the holidays or who gets the remote, he'll show his love by insisting that you call the shots sometimes.

10. He Tells You
Sure, there's a lot to be said for showing, not telling... but if he's telling you how crazy he is about you, listen up!

The 7 Compliments

Whether you're starting a new relationship, in one or already married, there are some things that don't change, like the need to feel sexy, appreciated and needed. And it's not just women who want these things... men do too!
There are some phrases that every man loves to hear, these can be said at any stage in your love life, that will leave you man drooling. (Yep, as simple as that, let your man know he's sexy, he's appreciated and he's needed!)

"You look great"
Men have insecurities, just like women. And whether he shows it or not, sometimes he's wondering if his shirt looks better tucked in or out, or if his belly is sticking out a little too far over his belt. This is an especially good compliment if he's been going to the gym... why do you think he's doing all that working out?

"I love your [insert body part]"Sometimes it helps to get specific... And, we're not gonna lie, one of the best fill-in-the-blanks here is, "I love your you-know-what" (or whatever word you can say without laughing or blushing too much.) Men are sensitive about their manly bits and they want to know that you're attracted to what they have. This is a difficult thing to actually say but hey, let him know!.

"I love it when you [insert action]"This is one that can benefit you as much as him... Men are the traditional initiators, and even if your man isn't the one to make the first move, chances are he sometimes feels like he should. If you don't tell him what you like, he's just flying blind. In fact, if you haven't complimented him he might even think you don't like what he's doing. And of course, the more you tell him you love it when he scratches your lower back, or runs your fingers along your chest, the more he'll do it.

"That woman just checked you out"
Yes, this helps his self-confidence. But it also tells him that you just saw another woman looking at him and you're not afraid to tell him. It shows that you're confident enough to know that he won't be lured away by another gal. Plus, what guy can resist the thought women are giving him the once-over?... Yeah, even tho you don't like this one, give your man the "you still got it" hint.

"You're right"
We all like to be right, men included. And you know what? Sometimes they are. It probably happens less often than he thinks, but when he is right, it's nice to tell him, especially if you were arguing. Sure, it might make you feel a little sheepish, but it's worth it in the end. It'll make him feel good, and showing that you're a reasonable creature who can admit when you're wrong will help temper future disagreements.

"Will you help me unscrew this?"Men like to feel manly. It might not be written in the MEN BIBLE, but it's ingrained in our culture. Helping women with simple tasks makes them feel macho and noble. We're not saying you should ask him to do things you can easily do yourself, but if you do need assistance, it's a little ego-booster he'll be happy to accept.

This is a toughy... it may not apply to all...

"You're not going bald"About one-quarter of men start losing their hair at age 25 and two-thirds have begun balding by 60. Losing his locks is one of a man's greatest fears. So even if he is getting a little monkey butt up top, tell him he's not. It's the male equivalent of "Do these jeans make me look fat?" No honey, of course not.

Yes ladies, we all like compliments, but hey! so do they! you don't have to drown him in compliments... a compliment a day helps the relationship.

How do you know if He/She is the one?

Even when you're crazy about someone, it can often be hard to know if he or she is "right" for you. How do you know you won't feel differently in a year? Ten years? A lifetime? Deciding if you can commit to someone is a deeply personal determination, and everyone has different criteria. As in any verdict, you have to start by assessing the evidence, with that in mind, here are a few signs that you're dating a very possible soul mate. You don't have to check off all of these points to be sure about someone, but if you can say yes to several, you've found someone very special... Hold on!!!

1. You tell him/her things you don't tell anyone else. We don't mean blurting something out after you've had too much merlot, but the desire to tell him/her intimate details about your life means you trust them, a major component of successful long-term love.

2. You let him/her see you in moments of weakness. It's easy to be happy with someone when you're feeling good about life. But what about when you're not doing so well? When you've been denied a raise, or your cat died or you had a plain old bad day? He/She should be a comfort during tough times, not a burden.

3. You respect him/her. You don't want to change the essence of who he/she is. There may be stuff that irritates you in everyday life like he/she insists on wearing his/her favoritefull of holes T-shirt, he eats sugar cereal for dinner, he still watches Saturday morning cartoons... but you like him/her, plain and simple.

4. You want him/her to meet your parents. You feel proud of him/her and you want to show him off, as opposed to feeling like you have to make excuses for that person.

5. You can imagine a future together. You don't have to practice writing your first name with his last name, but do you periodically let your mind wander to picture a life together? Is it amazing?

6. You're not afraid to disagree with him/her. You know that even if you fight, he'll/she'll listen to you and won't brush you off. He/She takes you seriously, even when he/she thinks you're wrong.

7. You want to work out your major differences. If you do have crucial differences that will impact your future together... different opinions about religion, money or something else... you want to work them out with him/her, and you believe you can come to a conclusion that will satisfy both of you.

8. You laugh together. Laughter is one of life's simplest pleasures... you should definitely be able to crack each other up.

9. You're incredibly, utterly, surprisingly attracted to him/her. Physical chemistry is an undeniably important ingredient in a healthy relationship. And if he's/she's not a classic beauty or your usual "type"?... Even more reason to think he's/she's the one!.

10. It's OK to be quiet around him/her. You don't feel like you have to fill the space between you with chatter or other interaction. Instead, you feel an easy comfort.

11. You feel like yourself around him/her. You don't feel like you have to edit your thoughts; you're not self-conscious or anxious... watch what you say or do.

12. You need him/her the right amount. You long for him/her... but not too much. Some neediness is good but too much brings discontent.

13. You don't feel too jealous. You're comfortable with him/her going out with friends... even opposite sex friends. You let each other have your own lives and hobbies.

14. You feel like he/she makes you a better person. He/She makes you feel smart, funny, attractive, creative... like the best version of yourself. You feel like he/she brings out and complements the best parts of you.

15. He/She just gets you. Sometimes it's that easy. You feel like he/she understands some essential part of you that you can't explain or articulate. It's a warm, comfortable feeling.. and one you should have with the person you marry.

How about a more Exciting Relationship?

Most relationships are very exciting in the beginning but if you have been in your current relationship for awhile already you may have noticed that the initial excitement you experienced is starting to waiver and you and your partner may be settling into a dull routine. As a relationship progresses one or both partners may be guilty of settling into complacency and may not strive to keep the element of excitement in their relationship. The following are a few tips for ensuring that your relationship stays as exciting as it was in the beginning.

Sometimes hypnotherapy is the perfect tool for empowerment. This means that your first task will be to develop a very positive relationship with yourself. Once you are feeling comfortable and happy with yourself. others will start to feel very comfortable with you.

Never underestimate the value of spontaneity in a relationship. Too often relationships lose their excitement because the mates fall into a routine that becomes boring as time goes by. Don’t be afraid to suggest new activities in your relationship or to try new things on a whim. Being spontaneous doesn’t have to involve big decisions it can be as simple as picking up something new at the grocery store and trying a new recipe for dinner. Whatever you do, just let your instincts take over for a minute instead of relying on rationality. Anything you do that is spontaneous may not work out as well as if you had planned out every last detail but just go with the flow and you’ll find your relationship taking a turn for the better.

Exploring a new location together is another way to bring the excitement back into your relationship. Whether you plan an elaborate trip to an exotic location or just take the bus to a nearby city that you have never visited your adventure together will help spice up your romance. Take your time exploring the new location and enjoy the foods and atmosphere that the new place has to offer. Exploring new cities can help bring the thrill back to your relationship.

Still another way to spice up a waning relationship is to sign up for an instructional class together such as a cooking, dancing or pottery class. Working together to learn a new skill will draw the two of you closer as you strive to accomplish a goal together. A class will enable you and your partner to interact in a new way. This new interaction will help to pull you out of a rut.

Spending a night at a hotel is another way to restore the excitement in your relationship. Intimacy is very important in a relationship and if you and your partner have found that this aspect of your relationship has lost it’s spice, it’s time to shake things up a bit. Choose a romantic hotel, preferably one with a cozy restaurant. Begin by having a wonderful candlelight dinner in the restaurant and then proceed to the room that you have reserved. Setting the mood with candles and dim lighting is also suggested. A night in a different location such as a romantic hotel will go a long way towards rekindling your intimate relationship.

Another way to bring the excitement back into your relationship is to set up a date night. While you may see each other daily and even go out to dinner every Friday night, setting up a date night outside of your usual schedule will enhance your relationship. Don’t just schedule a night to go out to dinner but treat each of these date nights as if they were first dates. Go all out getting yourself dressed up and take special care in your appearance. Prepare for your date night as if you were really trying to make a good first impression. Going out of your way to have at least one night of fun and romance a week will help add a little zing to your relationship.

Giving your mate gifts for no reason at all is another way to get your relationship back on track. You may have lavished gifts on your partner early in the relationship but as the relationship progressed you may not have done so as frequently. Small, meaningful gifts given just to make your partner happy will let them know that they are still always on your mind just as they were in the beginning of the relationship.

The simple act of holding hands can also add excitement back into a relationship. This intimate gesture conveys a sense of security but it also lets your partner know that you want to be close to them at all times. Many couples hold hands everywhere they go early in a relationship but don’t do so later on. Try grabbing your partners hand as you are out running errands together. They will be touched by the sentiment and will be happy to be sharing a sense of closeness with you again.

A kiss is still another way to bring the excitement back into your relationship. You may have gotten into the habit of giving your mate a kiss on the cheek or a quick peck on the lips when you see them after a long day of work. Trying kissing them with passion the next time you see them to catch them by surprise and really let you know not only how much you love them but how attractive you find them as well.

Having a common interest can also promote excitement in a relationship. If there is an activity that you both enjoy doing, make it something that the two of you do together often. For example if you both enjoy hiking make plans to go hiking every Saturday morning and each time you go out make it a little different by exploring a new location or setting new goals for yourselves. This will give the two of you a chance to reconnect while enjoying each other’s company. Having a ritualistic activity that you and your partner enjoy together creates closeness and intimacy that can help put the excitement back into your relationship.

Offering your partner a massage when they are worn out and tired can also bring the excitement back to your relationship. A massage can be a very sensual and intimate experience. Additionally offering a massage lets your partner know that you can see that they are stressed out and exhausted. They will appreciate your putting them first in the relationship and this will help bring back the excitement in your relationship.

Over time a relationship may lose some of the excitement that it had in the very beginning. While this may be troublesome it is also completely normal and also reversible. Noticing the lack of excitement in your relationship is the first step to restoring that excitement. It may take a little work but with a few simple actions you can be on your way to an exciting relationship.

Love Confusion

Don't know how we got this far
So attached now and this gets me
Like a thief you stole my heart
And I've fallen in love so unfairly
Boy I hate that my world revolves around you
And I hate my heart cause it hurts without you.

Why, why am I so lost in you?
I don't even know me anymore
I don't know why I'm so confused
I'm hating that I love you this much Boy.

You give me goosebumps, every time
My heart skips a beat when you touch me
I'm so mesmerized
Who told you, you could be mine?
I'm mad at you for this nice surprise.

Why, why am I so lost in you?
I'm hating that I love you this much Boy
You see I love you,
Then I hate you,
And I hate to, cause I love you
And I need you, then I don't need you
I don't know just what to do.

I think I hate you, yes I hate you
Wait, I love you, I love you
I'm really so confused,
I love you, yes I do.

I'm confused.

Body Parts

Hard to believe... we all have this crazy thing that men like bigger boobs, bigger butts, bigger this - smaller that... not true! Men have a soft spot for our natural beauty... here are some that men go gaga over (and I don't mean Lady Gaga, that would mean psycho insane)

1) Our hair.
The way it smells. The way it hangs over our eyes, just begging to be brushed behind our ear. The way it shimmers, making it nearly impossible for him to resist running his fingers through its deliciously softness.

2) Our eyes.
Our eyes are pretty mesmerizing, whether or not we've been able to master that whole smokey eye look.

3) Our skin.
How soft and smooth it is, calling out for a caress or two, or perhaps some heavy groping. It's one of the reasons men will always prefer sexy time with us to sexy alone time with their huge porn collection: The feel of skin on skin just can't be beat!

4) Our clavicle and the curve of our neck.
Something about the clavicle is just irresistible to men. Perhaps it's the concavity of it, which makes it perfectly shaped for a quick inhale of our natural scent, or a lingering kiss (or 2 or 3). We don't mind this at all, as this part of our body is a major erogenous zone.

5) Our belly button.
We don't understand it. After all, men have belly buttons, too. Perhaps we're just better at cleaning out the lint. (Kidding! Just kidding!)

6) Our curves.
The strength in our calves. The small of our back. Our generous hips that shimmy as we walk, and our grabbable booty. Everything about the way we're shaped screams Woman! to the men in our lives. For god's sake, don't shrink it with surgery. Work it!

7) Our boobage.
Okay. Technically, this shoud be counted in with our curves, but the boobs hold an allure for men that is unmatched by any other part of our body. They like to stare at them. They like to touch them. They like to put their mouth on them. They like to use them as pillows. It doesn't matter what size they are. I swear to you. Just the fact that you have them makes men crazy!.

Thou Shalt Not

The 7 deadly sins of Dating...
Girls you need to be warned, nothing can kill a relationship faster than one of these 7 dating mistakes.

1. Rushing into Sex

There isn't a universal right time to become intimate with a new partner, however, if you have sex before a man has had a chance to get to know you, then you risk him placing you in the "fling" category and losing interest. A man has to invest and appreciate your other qualities beyond the physical for him to want to make you his girlfriend. So don't be afraid to take your time and make him wait until it feels right for you; the "three date rule" is a myth!

2. Opening Up Too Fast

Likewise, it isn't smart to rush in and tell him all of your sad childhood stories. Although it's natural to want to speed up the bonding process, you have to pace the amount of information you share. You don't want to scare him offwith TMI or convince him that you're a high-drama mamma.

3. Calling/Texting/Emailing Too Much

While it's true that we live in an age of over-sharing, you'll just have to trust us on this one and play it cool. Men typically enjoy playing the role of the chaser, not the chasee, so constantly calling them can have the reverse effect of making them less interested, not more. So put down that phone, slowly back away from the computer, and let him sweat it out for a change.

4. Spying on Him

It may be tempting to take a quick peak at his Blackberry, but there's no faster way to inflame trust issues than to snoop.

5. Faking Orgasms

Faking is a like a harmless, little white lie, right? No! In the long run, you are actually doing both of yourselves a huge disservice by allowing him to think that his moves are pleasing you when they really aren't. Besides, what if you marry him? Are you really going to keep up the Meg Ryan act into your old age?

6. Expecting Him to Change

People do not change very much as they get older, especially men. So if there are numerous things about him that you can't stand, then it might be wiser to just change to a different man.

7. Neglecting Yourself

While it's important to nurture a budding relationship, sacrificing all of your energy and time to it and ignoring your own needs is a huge mistake. Whether you're in a relationship or not, you should always love and take care of yourself first.

The "Cool Girl"

Just what is it that makes a man see you as someone he thinks of as relationship material rather than something casual?


To share a few tips on how attraction works with men, let me tell you about the “cool girl”.
“Cool girl” is guy-speak for the kind of woman who is attractive to men in a way that even they can’t explain and won’t tell you about... but I will.


You see, “cool girl” is code for a woman who embodies certain qualities that, together, trigger attraction in a man – an emotionally mature man – at a deep level. Let me explain a bit more about what I mean...and what he’s thinking.


“THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HER”


If you’ve ever heard a guy talk about a woman being a “cool girl”, you probably saw him talk about her with a smile.


A “cool girl” has a certain positive emotional energy that men can relate to. She might not necessarily be the most physically attractive woman in the room, but there’s just something about her that men find irresistible.


Here’s that “something”...


Cool girls bring funny, positive thoughts and feelings to situations to create an experience that men will want to have again and again.


That’s because a cool girl understands that creating a foundation of positive experiences with a man makes him connect to her so that he wants more and more of her in his life, not less.


Cool girls are willing to go with the flow when it comes to social things but make assertions when they have opinions and ideas.


Men, especially those with high-powered, stressful careers, don’t want more stress from the women in their lives. They want to come home to a woman who can be flexible about plans instead of rigid and set in her ways. However, they also respect a woman who has boundaries and says clearly and in plain language what is not okay with her.


Cool girls have options and things to do that keep them satisfied so they don’t feel like they’re left out if they’re not invited to something.


And even if they are left out, they don’t complain about it or even mention it – they find something to do that makes them happy. When you make a man your entire world, he starts to see you as another responsibility for him rather than a partner. Take responsibility for your own happiness, and you become that much more attractive to a man.


Cool girls prefer that a man make up his own mind; they don’t try to make a man do something.


Whenever you try to convince someone to do something, the other person will naturally resist you. And when you try to do this with a guy, something else happens – he starts to feel less attracted to you. Show him that you respect his ideas and appreciate him by giving him the chance... to be him.


Cool girls know that the way they feel and talk about themselves is how men will feel about them.


If you have a tendency to talk negatively about yourself – your weight, your intelligence, or your life – don’t be surprised if a man will start to see you in that context. Do yourself a favor by always talking kindly about yourself so that a man sees you and talks about you in the same way.


And the number one “something” every cool girl has that attracts a man? A life outside of him. Be that girl with the life he wants to be part of...every day. The best time to start doing this is when you’re still single – use this time to really explore your interests, nurture your friendships, and enjoy the choices that being on your own gives you.


Practicing these small shifts instantly amplifies the cool girl attributes in you...and makes you the kind of girl he wants to see again and again.

True Love Never Dies – But What Is True Love?

True love is forever. Why then do half of the marriages in the world end in divorce, and why are so many couples always breaking up? Simple, they don’t know true love. What’s true love then? True love is unconditional love. And no, that’s not just limited to mothers and God. Ordinary humans can do it too… but that doesn’t mean it’s easy.


Unconditional love is when you love someone not for certain aspects of them that can change, but you love them for their innermost essence… their soul even, if you will. Unconditional love is when you still love someone no matter how much they change, no matter how ugly they become, and no matter how many stupid things they do or how much they may hurt you. Unconditional love is something that perseveres even when it may hurt you or when it seems to go completely against your own best interests. So, yeah, it’s not for the faint of heart. It takes true courage to love even just one person unconditionally, and that’s something not a lot of people have.


So, most people in relationships don’t really love each other. They might think they do, but for the most part they’re just infatuated, horny or lonely. Most relationships are based on someone’s needs. They either need “someone to be with” or they need someone to have sex with or something. There’s always some kind of an outcome that they want… the love isn’t its own reward.


True unconditional love doesn’t need a relationship to thrive, and it doesn’t need any kind of outcome whatsoever. Just to be able to experience unconditional love is its own reward.


The average modern romantic relationship is actually very limiting with regards to true love. Jealousy is a commonly accepted feeling – it’s considered normal. But jealousy and true love don’t actually go together at all. If you truly unconditionally love someone, why would you ever feel jealous if they spend time with other people? And if spending time with other people makes that person happy, then that makes you happy too because you enjoy seeing that person happy. Jealousy is actually quite insane when you think about it like that. It’s quite incompatible with true love.


But that doesn’t mean that if you ever feel the slightest hint of jealousy, that doesn’t mean you don’t truly love the person. You could just be having a moment of weakness… as I said above, unconditional love isn’t for the faint of heart, and it takes a lot of courage to keep it up. You’re only human, and nobody is perfect… I doubt anyone on the planet is 100% capable of unconditional love anyway. But it’s worth it to see how close you can get because it really is one of the most awesome things you can do or experience.

What is the True Meaning of Love?

• Possessiveness is not love
• Jealousy is not love
• Lust is not love
• Fear is not love
• Keeping people all to yourself is not love
• Expecting something from someone is not love

Real, true love is unconditional. All other “kinds”of love are not really love. Most parents and kids don’t love each other, most people in relationships don’t love each other, most people on the planet never experience unconditional love in their entire lives… or at least it sure looks that way.

To love someone unconditionally means that you love the person exactly as they are, exactly as they were before, and exactly as they will be in the future – because people change all the time, so if you love the person, you will love them even if they become something you disagree with. How many parents can say that about their kids? How many people can say that about their “lover”? Love is not about you or your pleasure or your amusement. It’s not about what you get out of it or what the other person can give to you. It’s not about having a trophy you can show off with and tell people “This is *MY* girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/son/daughter/whatever”. You do not “own” anyone. It’s not about you feeling ‘proud’ to be with someone who always agrees with everything you say and do and never does anything you disagree with. Unconditional love means that the person can just live their life exactly as they choose and you will always be there for them no matter what.

So, how does unconditional love fit in with relationships and marriage and sex and all that stuff the whole world keeps going crazy over? It doesn’t, really. It doesn’t “fit” in anywhere. Relationships are like trying to put love into a box and keep it there, except love is infinitely sized, and the box is… well, there is no box large enough. And a normal, conventional marriage is quite possibly the worst possible way to show someone how much you love them.

Unconditional love is more of a spiritual thing. It’s not bound by physical things, like blood relations and the desire to procreate. It has nothing whatsoever to do with sex. Most people are in relationships because they’re horny and/or lonely, even if they genuinely think they love the other person. But if the person they “love” suddenly lost their “equipment” for whatever reason, would they still want to be with that person? Would they get jealous if the person they “love” wanted to spend time with other people as well? Relationships based on needs are not unconditional.

In order to truly understand love, you must first forget everything you have ever learned about it from society and anyone else (including what I just said). You are the only person who can tell you what love is. The only reason I’m writing all this stuff is because people always try to fit “love” in with things like dating, relationships and marriage and all that. You can’t make any sense of it if you keep doing that. You have to get rid of everything you think you know first.

Welcome

I've decided to open a blog to unveil all that is caught up in our minds and in our hearts. Hope this will be helpful to everybody.

Love
-M